Brave Enough
by savedprincess85
Summary: Jess moves out before Nick gets back from NOLA. This will probably be at least four or five chapters long.
1. Choosing to Leave

**This is a little story I decided to write after listening to Lindsey Stirling's new song Brave Enough. What happens if Jess just isn't brave enough to see Nick again every single day. This first chapter is a little on the short side, sorry, but the next chapter will be a lot better! I hope to get that uploaded in the next few days. My kids were distracting me while writing this part, so let me know if there are any major grammar errors.**

Jess can't take it anymore. It's been a month since Nick went to New Orleans with Reagan. Schmidt and Cece are back from their honeymoon and all she sees is love, love, love. And she is in love with Nick and can't tell him. She has tried to write it down many times. But it always coming out desperate and she gives up halfway through. Maybe it is time for her to look for a place to live. Jess knows that it will be a lot harder to see Nick every day and keep this from him.

She just isn't brave enough to face him every day.

One week later, Jess is looking at apartments about five minutes from her school. She has found two different apartments that she really likes. Feeling so lonely, she calls Cece to get a second opinion.

"Cece, I'm stuck. I need another pair of eyes. Can I come pick you up and you help me decide?" Jess tells Cece.

"Sure, babe, I'm ready now."

"Ok, be there in 15 minutes. Thank you, Cece." Hanging up, she tells the manager of the apartment that she will be back in half an hour. And gets in her car.

Pulling up in front of the Loft building, Cece is already outside.

"Cece, thank you. I just don't know which one to pick. I just keep seeing a one room apartment and no roommates. I can afford both apartments easily, I just don't know. I mean, I only have a little over a month to get settled before Nick comes back. I can't be there when Nick gets home. It will hurt too much. Of course I'm going to miss you guys! But I can't do the Nick thing anymore." Jess blabbers out as she pulls away from the building and heads back to the apartments

"Babe, I get it. When Schmidt and I broke up forever ago, I couldn't bear to see him. Then with the stuff with Elizabeth after Shrivrang, it hurt like hell. I hated seeing him. So you don't have to explain anything to me. But I don't want to be the one to break it to the guys. I have kept this from Schmidt right now, but he needs to know soon." Cece says.

They are quiet as Jess drives. "When are you going to tell Nick? Are you guys still texting?" Cece asks, not sure of what answer she wants to hear. On one hand, she knows that Nick still texting Jess even with Reagan halfway across the country, gives Cece hope that Nick really isn't really over Jess. But Cece also knows that it gives Jess pain to hear from Nick when he is with another girl.

"Yes, I haven't let on that anything is going on. I text him back when he texts me. I'm trying to pretend everything is normal. I know that I need to tell him. I just don't know how. Should I call him and leave a message while he on the plane home? But I run into the problem of Nick actually checking his messages in a timely manner. I could be waiting at the loft when he gets home, but that is what I really want to avoid. I have been trying to write a letter to him, but I don't know, it just always sounds terrible. I want to eventually be friends again. I know he will hate me at first. I just don't know. I think the letter will be the best option. But, Cece, can you help me? Can you read it before I leave it for him? That way, you can tell me if it sounds horrible and I need to rewrite it."

"Sure, that actually is really a good idea. I can give the letter to him when he arrives, that way we know he gets it." Cece says.

Driving up to the apartment building, "Here is the first option. It's pretty nice actually. It has pretty bay windows and is in a quiet community." They get out and walk into manager's office. "I'm back, can I go see the two available apartments again? My friend is here to help me decide which apartment is best for me."  
"Yes of course, Ms. Day, here are the keys. The apartment numbers are on the tags, just bring them back when you decide." The manager says smiling.

Taking the keys, Jess and Cece walk out and look at the apartments.


	2. The Hard Stuff

**So sorry for the delay. I couldn't get this scene to work at all! I just couldn't get the flow. Here is the next chapter. I know it isn't great, especially the first part…hopefully the next chapter will be better.** **Please read and review! I don't think a part of it is up to par, but I couldn't wait any longer to post.**

Later that day, after deciding between the two apartments and signing the lease, Jess and Cece are back in the loft making dinner and talking about the upcoming move.

Winston and Schmidt come home from work within a few minutes of each other. Jess knows dinner is the time to tell them of her move. As the guys come sit at the table that is already set, with the help of Cece, Jess continues to stand and starts off. "Ok, guys, I need to make an announcement. Please let me get all of this out and then you can barrage me with questions. So, I will be moving out in three weeks, into an apartment of my own. I want to tell you why I'm moving though. I love living here, but I can't do it after Nick returns from New Orleans. I am still in love with Nick. I am just not brave enough to face him every day. I am pretending that everything is normal here, while Nick is gone, but he will come home to a letter from me explaining why I moved out. I hope you guys understand and will support me in this." Sitting down, she signified that she was done and the guys could talk. As she was talking, Schmidt and Winston made many noises of disbelief, but had waited until she was finished.

"Of course we understand Jess, but are you sure that is the way to go? We don't know how often Nick will be home now. He may decide to go with Reagan every time she goes to a different city." Schmidt says hoping for Jess to see that she doesn't really need to move out.

"Jess, we will still see you as often as we can. I knew something was up after I got back from the prank honeymoon. You just didn't seem as bubbly and sing-songy as normal. We just want you to be happy." Winston says quickly after Schmidt finished.

"Thanks you guys, I need this. I will be five minutes from my school, and fifteen minutes from here. We will still see each other a lot! I want to have you all over as soon as I am settled in.

"Of course, Jess, we would love to come over. We will bring the drinks." Cece says happily.

After dinner, Jess went to her room to start packing. She had gotten lots of boxes from school and had stopped by the grocery store to ask about boxes. She is picking up more on Thursday. Things were working out great. Hopefully, by the time Nick got back from New Orleans, she would be completely moved in to her new apartment.

Looking around, Jess doesn't know where to start. Her closet? Desk? Cleaning out the crap and getting rid of stuff? Maybe…going to her closet she starts pushing clothes around half-heartedly. She looks down and realizes that maroon sweater is sticking out of a box at the bottom of the closet. She had stolen it from Nick and hid it in her Nick box after they broke up. Picking up the box, she pulls the sweater out and holds it to her nose. It still had a bit of the Nick scent, but it mostly smelled like her room-girly. Nick had a very distinct man scent. Sitting on her bed, she held the sweater and decided to start on the letter she had to write sooner rather than later.

 _Dear Nick…_

 **Three Weeks Later**

Jess walked out of the loft as her home for the last time. Nick came home tomorrow. She had left the letter and sweater on his bed. She didn't want to be here when he arrived. Jess wasn't looking forward to tomorrow at all. She knew that Nick would call her and want to talk. She knew that he was really excited about coming home. He had been texting her more this week than the whole three months he had been gone. Each and every text made her heart jump and squeeze tight. It hurt so much.

She heard her phone go off as the elevator dinged. Looking down, she realized it was another text from Nick.

"Hey, wanna get coffee tomorrow during your lunch break? I want to catch up with you. I have so much I want to tell you! Jess, I have had so much fun in New Orleans, but I miss my best friend."

Another tear rolled down her cheek as she stepped off the elevator on the ground floor and headed toward her car.

She decided to text back quickly so as to avoid questions.  
"I can't tomorrow Nick. I have a conference with the principal during lunch tomorrow. I'm sorry."

As she got to her car, she chased the feral cats away. Thank goodness Outside Dave wasn't sitting on her car. She had no patience for him today.

Her phone dinged as she was putting on her seatbelt. Knowing it was Nick, she ignored it.

Her phone rings then. She glances at it, sees its Nick, and ignores it. A few minutes later, she hears another ding and knows that she probably has a voice message from her ex-boyfriend/loft mate. She drives to her new apartment desperately hoping she is making the right decision.

Opening the apartment door, she realizes that she is alone. Really, truly alone for the first time in almost 12 years. The apartment is coming together, but it still doesn't really feel like home. Boxes still need to be unpacked, but that didn't matter right now. She knew she needed to listen to the voicemail Nick left her, and respond or she would be hearing a lot more from Mr. Miller.

Her phone actually had two texts and a voice mail from Nick.

"Ok, how about after school? We can hang out whenever you are free. I just really want to catch up with my best friend."

"Hey Jess, I know things have been a bit weird between us since Schmidt and Cece's wedding, but I really miss you."

Calling her voicemail, dreading hearing his voice, but knowing it is like ripping off a bandaid-faster is usually better. "Hey Jess, I'm free the rest of this week. I don't have to go back to work until Saturday night. Can we please hang out sometime this week? I miss you. I can't believe how amazing Reagan has been and I have so much I want to tell you about this trip. I also want to hear about how your summer has gone. Jess, please make time for me this week."

Closing the phone, she let the tears fall. She didn't even bother deleting the message. As much as it hurt, she wanted to save it. She knew that after the letter she wrote and the fight that she was sure would follow, Nick wouldn't talk to her for a while. Even if what he said hurt, it was better to at least have his voice somewhere. She knew she was being dramatic and would probably delete it tomorrow after the fight, but right now it felt good to wallow a little.

Schmidt and Winston were picking up Nick from the airport at 8am. Cece was waiting at the loft to text Jess about when Nick went into his room for the first time, knowing he would find the letter then and hopefully read it. Jess wanted as much head warning as possible.

Jess got up early to get ready for work. She really wasn't looking forward to this day.

 _6hour later_

Her phone went off and she glanced down at it, and saw it was Cece telling her Nick was home and went into his room.

Jess's heart lurched.


	3. When Nick Comes Home

_At the loft_

Cece was sitting on the couch reading a magazine. Well, pretending to read a magazine. She had read the letter that Jess had left for Nick. It hadn't been terribly long, just a page and half. Surely it wouldn't take Nick long to read it. She was prepared for Nick to come out and question her on the meaning of the letter. But he didn't.

Over an hour after Nick went into his room, he walked back out, wearing the sweater Jess had washed and left on his bed with the letter. He was also clutching the letter. Cece looked at Nick and saw that he seemed to be in shock. Nick walked to the fridge and grabbed a beer, opened it, and came and sat on the couch with Cece.

"Cece, can I talk to you, as a friend of Jess? I really need your help here." Nick said looking from the letter to Cece.

"Nick, I know what that letter says. I also know how hard it was for Jess to write it and how hard it was for her to get texts from you all summer with pictures of you and Reagan happy in New Orleans. She was really devastated up after you left. Jess feels like she needs to give you the space you need to be with Reagan and for her to move on. I mean, think about it, it has been two years since you guys dated and yet, here she is still in love with you. She needs to be able to get over you. Can you understand that Nick?" As Cece was talking Nick was looking at the letter again. He looked so sad and torn.

"I understand, but she is still my best friend Cece. I know that Schmidt thinks it is him, but really, it has been Jess for so long. I miss my best friend. Is she still willing to at least be my friend? I can't lose her as my friend."

"Nick, can I ask you a question? If this was you and she was moving on with another guy after you realized that you were still in love with her, would you want to see Jess every day? Or would you find a way to move out?"

Nick nodded and realized that Cece was right. It would hurt like hell to see the love of his life every day when she was moving on. He knew that. It hurt like hell for a year after they broke up. He just pretended it didn't.

"I know Cece. I see what you mean. I just don't want to lose her. She is the most important person in my life."

"What about Reagan? You just spent three months halfway across the country with Reagan." Cece looked at Nick gauging what he was feeling, but she wasn't Jess and couldn't tell as well as she could if Nick was hiding something. It always amazed Cece the connection that Nick and Jess have. They could read each other so well. Nick could read Jess better than Cece could sometimes. Cece just didn't want Jess to hurt anymore.

Nick looked at Cece, nodded and didn't say anything. He just looked at the letter and took a drink of the beer he still held in his hand. Cece didn't know what to say. What does a nod mean to a question like that? She decided to take a leap of faith and ask the question that she felt she knew the answer to already, but didn't want to be wrong about.

"Nick, do you still love Jess?"

Nick looked at Cece. He looked trapped to Cece. Like he didn't want to admit that he just spent three months with a woman who he didn't love. But then he shook his head and got up and walked back to his room. Then he changed course and opened Jess's door. The room was empty except for the rug and a plant that she must have forgotten on the window sill. The curtains were gone, everything that made this room Jess, was gone. Walking to the plant, he realized that the plant was a fake fern and was probably here when she moved in. Looking around the room, the turquoise walls screamed that his best friend was gone. He sat down on the floor. Cece walked around the corner and looked at Nick staring at the wall where Jess's bed had been.

"Cece, I still love her. But I'm with Reagan. And I don't know what to do about that. I mean, should I break up with Reagan and try start a relationship with Jess? Or should I stay with Reagan, giving Jess some space? I mean, seriously, I don't want Jess to move on. I also don't want to lead Reagan on. I really want to be with Jess. Cece, I'm going to tell you something that no one else knows. I wanted to get back with Jess about two days after we broke up. I love Jess."

"Then you need to tell her."

"Cece, I need to break up with Reagan first. Oh, God, how am I going to do that? What am I going to tell Reagan? Cece, don't tell Jess. I want to talk to her myself. Tonight. What is her address? I am going to break up with Reagan, now. And talk to Jess tonight."

Cece smiled and gave Nick the address.

 **Please review! I really would like to know what you think. I'm not sure if this story is even any good. We have 6 days until Season 6 comes on and I'm nervous about where they are going to go with it. I hate that it seems some of the chemistry between Jess and Nick was lost this last season. I hope they can get that back. :(**


	4. Pink wine and Kisses

_**So this is this is the last chapter...Thank you for any reviews!**_ **I hope you like it! And let me know if this story is good. I over analyze and hope that it is good, but I'm really not sure at this point.**

 _At Jess's Apartment_

Jess was sitting on her newly bought couch-turquoise because she loves that color and it's great to have a pop of color in a very white room…I definitely need to paint these walls soon…Getting up she headed to her kitchen-she really loved the kitchen, it had an island bar with a cooktop that separated it from the living room, but was still roomy enough to have a few friends in there without seeming overly crowded.

She hadn't heard from Cece since she said Nick went to his room. That was hours ago. She was very nervous, but decided to listen to music as she unpacked a bag of kitchen supplies she had bought this week. Every few minutes she grabbed her phone off the counter and thought about texting Nick or Cece, but she always put it back down.

Her phone dinged as she put her spatulas in the drawer. She was incredibly scared about what was going to be in this text. It was Nick…

"Open your door."

Looking at her phone and to her door with a puzzled expression in her eyes, she adjusted her glasses and went to the door. Taking a deep breath, she opened her door.

Nick stood there holding a bottle of pink wine, a 6 pack of beer and the most beautiful bouquet of flowers she had ever seen. He was dressed in a black button up and his jeans. Jess realized she looked a bit of a mess in her red and white polka dot pajamas.

Her jaw dropped and she didn't know what to say. But Nick was smiling. Grinning really.

"What are you doing here?" Jess asked quietly.

"Well since you are in a new apartment, I thought I would be the first to give you a bottle of pink wine and break in your couch. It needs my butt print on it." Nick said still grinning. "Are you going to invite me in?"

Jess shook her head and didn't move out of the doorway to let him in. This hurt so much. He was with Reagan. He shouldn't be here. She wasn't ready for this. "Umm…Nick, did you read the letter I left for you? I can't do this. I am not ok. I'm still in love with you and you are with Reagan. My heart hurts and I need to get over you. I don't know if I ever will. But I…I can't do this. Nick, I'm sorry. Go back to the loft, call Reagan. Do whatever you want, but I can't let you come in tonight." Tears started rolling down her face as she mentioned Reagan, and she moved to close the door.

"No Jess, I'm not leaving. I did read your letter. Then I had a very pointed talk with Cece. Jess, you need to know, I broke up with Reagan tonight." Nick said still holding the flowers out to her.

"What? Why? I…" Jess stammered.

"Jess, I love you. I never really stopped loving you. I just hid it better than anyone thought I could. I hid it so well, that it took Cece asking me today if I love you to wake me up to that. I didn't even know until today that I still love you. Jess, I want to wake up with you for the rest of my life. I don't care if it's in Oregon in a cute little house with a picket fence or on Mars. I don't care. All I care about is being with my best friend. Now Jess, can I come in and we talk more about this, or are we going to have the rest of this conversation on your doorstep?" Nick said smiling.

Stepping out of the way with a frown and tears dripping down her face, Jess said, "Come in…Nick, you just got back from spending three months with Reagan. You can't really know that you are still in love with me. You just missed seeing me or something. I can't handle this. I'm not brave enough to do this. I can't lose my best friend. I can't. I moved out because I can't stand the idea of seeing you with other girls and I knew this was the only way for us to really still be friends."

Nick stepped in as she was talking, put the flowers on the counter with the beverages and turned to Jess. He looked at her sadly. "Jess, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't hear what you weren't telling me in your room after the wedding. Your speech about how incredible I am, was just a cover up for telling me you love me. I remember the look in your eyes. You need to know that my time with Reagan was fun, but there wasn't a day that didn't go by that I didn't miss you like crazy. I missed hearing your laugh and watching you push your glasses up on your nose." Nick stepped closer to Jess and took her hands. "Jess, I love you. Please believe that. We will make this work. No matter what. I can't lose you again."

Jess just looked down at their hands, her tears had stopped. She had forgotten how amazing his hands feel. Looking up into Nick's eyes, all she saw was love, but she was still wary. Could they really make this work?

"Nick, I…" Jess said hesitating to say what she really wanted to say. Nick lifted his hands to her face wiping away the tear trails. They were so close, closer than they had been in so very long.

"Jess, I don't know how long it will take for you to believe I actually love you. But I do, I love you." He drew her close and kissed her. A deep, passionate kiss that was reminiscent of their first kiss, but was so much more full of meaning and love. Her arms wrapped around Nick's neck and they continued to kiss.

Taking a step back to breath, Jess said, "Nick, I'm in, you clown."

Nick smiled and pulled her in for another kiss, while moving her toward her couch.


End file.
